Shelter in Place Schedule

by Christine Sneed

7 AM Rise from bed in a sunny mood 7:15 Drink coffee from home-roasted beans, painstakingly ground by hand with Japanese-engineered grinder while listening to northern mockingbird sing from the top of a nearby lemon tree. 7:20 Feel upsurge in mood after caffeine hit and read a New Yorker profile of a hearing impaired beekeeper 7:40 Feel good mood wane as neighbor starts blasting Meatloaf CD through the wall 7:43 Pound on wall 7:48 Pound on wall again 7:52 Pound on wall a third time while screaming 7:55 Go outside for exercise with face mask and gloves 8:02 Accidentally step […]

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Shelter in Place Compatibility Quiz

by Christine Sneed

For this period of forced togetherness and self-quarantine, take this quiz to determine if you and your mate really are suited to spend so much time together. 1. Fill in the blank: I am a ________ person A. Dog B. Cat C. Horse D. Carp E. Squirrel 2. If you chose “carp,” you did so because A. It is a difficult word for your Uncle Jeff, the family bully, to pronounce B. You are indifferent to cats, dogs, and horses, and squirrels are imbeciles C. As an anagrammable word, it is subpar, but you’re crap at Boggle anyway D. Carp […]

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