Dora

by Dale Freeman

I met Dora, my future wife, in 1971. Her oldest brother, Newman, and I were sharing an apartment on Telegraph Hill, and Dora came to visit him. She just appeared. I don’t think Newman knew she was coming. She wound up staying.

We had a one-bedroom railroad flat—I had the bedroom, Newman used the living room as his bedroom. The stairs to the upper flat went through the entrance hallway; underneath was a storage space we let Dora use. No window, just a narrow bed, her suitcase for a dresser. It didn’t seem to bother her.

I’d been in San Francisco for a year, right after law school, working for the Neighborhood Legal Assistance Foundation. That’s how I met Newman. He was an intake worker at SF General and in his spare time was active in establishing a health center in Chinatown where I was serving as legal counsel. We became friendly and, when I learned he was unhappy with his living arrangements and when my own roommate moved out, I asked Newman to move in with me.

Dora and I started going to the movies together. We went on hikes. We got along well. We were roommates who enjoyed doing similar things, so we did them together.

At the time, I was struggling with my “emerging sexuality.” I was attracted to men, but had had virtually no experience with them. Of course, I was aware that San Francisco was a center of gay activity. The heyday of the Castro was yet to come, but Polk Street was alive with gay bars, and, late at night, guys used to hang out on the street looking to get picked up. Not hustlers, not street kids, like today, just guys looking for action. I would sometimes walk the length of Polk, hoping something would happen, but I was too scared to actually do anything.

Looking back, I wonder if there wasn’t something going on between Newman and me. I had no idea at the time, but I learned later that Newman is gay. Whether he had any expectations about me as a partner then, I don’t know. But it might have been part of our household dynamic....

Dale Freeman is an attorney in San Francisco. This is his first time in print.