Tag Archives: Interoffice Memorandum

Interoffice Memorandum 6/25

Date: June 25th, 2018 To: All Quest Industries Employees From: President Bryan Stokerly, Esq. Subj: Staying the Course Please ignore any and all rumors you might be hearing in these hallways about the financial health of Quest Industries. Everything is fine, ladies and gentlemen. It really is. Take my word for it. One other matter before I conclude: Whoever has been sticking wads of chewing gum on the underside of my office doorknob, here is a warning, just for you: Stop this evil, puerile business immediately or I will be forced to hire an unscrupulous acquaintance of mine who will beat …Continue reading

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Interoffice Memorandum 4/20

Date: April 20th To: All Quest Industries Employees From: President Bryan Stokerly, Esq. Subj: Important Discoveries I am very pleased to share with you a few recent discoveries I’ve made that I think you too will benefit from: 1. Some of us think we are allergic to nuts, but we are not. 2. Parking in a tow zone for 1-3 minutes is usually okay. 3. It is very difficult to know, objectively speaking, if you are good-looking. 4. Late-night eating is never a good idea, unless you have had nothing to eat in at least 12+ hours. 5. It’s okay …Continue reading

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Interoffice Memorandum 3/27

Date: March 27th To: All Quest Industries Employees From: Ken Crickshaw Jr., Office Manager Subj: Dispelling Rumor re: UFO Sighting With my generalist title of “Office Manager,” I am aware that many here at Quest Industries can’t help but consider me a jack of all trades, even if the current description for this position does not include dispelling rumors related to supernatural phenomena such as ghost or UFO sightings. Be that as it may, I am happy to provide this service despite its absence from my detailed list of job duties. Fred Sagen, CFO, who is near retirement and admits …Continue reading

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Interoffice Memorandum 1/15

Date: ​January ​15​ To: All Quest Industries Employees From: Mid-Level Management Subj: Live Plant Policies in the Office A short note on office policy regarding potted plants and floral bouquets: a) If you enjoy the company of a potted plant on your desk, please water it as needed in order to keep it from becoming an unsightly and dispiriting brown heap of tendrils, leaves, stalks, stems, pistils, stamens, husks, pods, and/or roots. b) If you have received a bouquet and are keeping it at your desk, please do not, under any circumstances, balance it on the edge of your cubicle wall where it will inevitably be bumped and dislodged by a passing coworker and …Continue reading

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