by Lee A. Tonouchi

Back den I nevah know. I wuz only one six grader trying foí make íem into Punahou, ëIolani, or Kamehameha. My faddah wanted me foí get in. I dunno why. Frigginí expensive go private school. I nevah like go cuz pressure ah. Get dat debt dat I gotta repay my faddah now. Not only I gotta be grateful foí him working hod, taking care me aftah my mom wen divorce us, but now I gotta be tankful dat he sending me to one ìgoodî school so I can go ìmainlandî college and come one doctor. And not just anykine mainland school, but da kine ìgoodî kine mainland school, preferably one of da Ivory league kine schools. So to him Iím jus like one investment. He nevah axed me if I wanted foí go private school. I guess wuz jus so he could brag to our family and all his friends, but wot about my friends?
      Laurie wuz my friend, not by choice, more by default. She came our school from Oregon fourth grade time. Since den da teachers always put us together in da smaht group. I mostly only talked to her in class, recess time I cruised wit my friends. We got along pretty good, except foí da fack dat she wuz competitive, dat wuz one of her idiosyncrasies. Das my new word I wen learn. Da teacher wen make us learn one new word every day and we gotta make one coconut-shape ornament and stick íem on da Vocabulary Tree. Good fun wuz learning words. One time I called Laurie ìdementedî and she had to go look íem up before she could give me her rebuttal, ìIím not a person suffering from dementia or the irreversible deterioration of mental faculties. Iím not like stupid you know.î Yeah, right. Wotevahs.
      One noddah time I wen trick her liídat wen I sed, ìHo, Laurie, why you always gotta look so pulchritudinous, ah?î Ho, dat set her off. She nevah know wot dat meant, but she kept arguing, arguing wit me until finally she found out dat it meant beautiful and den wuz all like wop-your-jaws1 ah. Some people cannot take one compliment I tell you boy.
      Of all da people I wuz going miss, Laurie wuznít one of íem. Chances wuz dat I wuz going be seeing a whole lot more of her though cuz she sed she wuz going private school too. None of her friends back in Portland wuz in private schools she sed. She wuz happy dat she wuz special. I guess I wanted foí get in cuz I nevah like be lacking ah, but still I nevah like all my friends tink I wuz high nose liídat. At least Laurie nevah have to worry about her rep cuz she had dat himakas2 ting going down foí long time already. Plenny people nevah like Laurie. Da girls nevah like her cuz she wuz pretty and she knew dat she wuz pretty. And she had dat ìIím one intellectualî kine attitude ah. She wuz da one always raising her hand in class, fully brown nosing, trying foí be teacherís pet.

One day da teacher wuz going over everybodyís essays on how wuz their summer vacation. He wuz really picking on Mits Funai and Barry Santos and he made dem go up in front da class and read their essays. Could tell he had problems wit Barryís body surfing at Point Panic papah. Teach sed he used to body surf there too wen he wuz growing up so I nevah catch why he wuz geeving dem da business. At first I tot da problem wuz dat da essay wuz all ìfictionî ah, cuz Barry, him, he talk da talk, but he no walk da walk ah, you know da kine. Him, he pressure out wen his head stay undah water liídat. Ninety feet and glassy. I no tink so. But wuznít so much da content, but da manner in which Barry wen go write íem.
      ìBarry, how many times must I tell you? You musnít write like how you speak.î
      ìHah?!î Barryís head jerked back.
      ìWho can tell the class what is wrong with Barryís writing?î
      ìOh, Barry, he da kine. He stay abundantly writing in one freestyle kine manner using large quantities of informal neologisms, ah?î Mits attempted trying foí incorporate as many of da new coconut-kine vocabulary words as he could remembah into dat one response.
      ìThe problem is that both Barry and Mits use too many colloquialisms,î Laurie volunteered dis time witout raising her hand.
      ìTry like, das not wot I sed?î Mits whispered into my ear.
      ìI tink so, but maybe wuz too wordy or someting ah.î
      ìThat was an excellent response, Laurie. You speak very well.î
      ìYeah Laurie, you talk sooo gooood,î Fay added.
      ìLaurie speaks WELL,î da teacher correck-ed in his stern voice, silencing da snickering of da class as he banged da yardstick on da table. Talks good, speaks well. Same diffs. So long you get da idea. Laurie wuz fully irking today, couldnít wait till recess foí play tetherball wit da gang.

Usually Laurie stayed in class during recess time. I tink so she sked da sun or someting, ass why she so white. I dunno wot she doing in da classroom. Probably kissing up to da teacher saímore. Probably erasing da blackboard or straightening da desks or someting. Ass why all of us wen stare wen Laurie started walking toward da tetherball pole.
      ìNo moí caboose k,î Barry sed, making like normal.
      ìGet swing?î Fay and Bernard wen ax.
      ìNeímine da rules, jus play already befoí we gotta go back class,î I sed anxiously as I saw Laurie smiling at me.
      ìHi, what are you guys doing?î Laurie axed as she stood on da outside of da concrete circle twirling her long black hair round and round wit her fingers. ìWot YOU doing? You no belong hea, girlie. Jus go back wea you came from,î Fay hollered.
      Wuz so unexpecked wot Laurieís reaction wuz. I wouldíve tot dat she wouldíve jus make like one BANANA and split ah, make like one drum and beat it, jus make like one shovel and DIG liídat, but instead she wen jus sit down and cry. Barry and da boyz wen go leave foí go play on one noddah pole. I wanted foí go have fun too, but I felt sorry ah foí Laurie. Torn. Dat love-hate deals.
      ìLaurie, no cry,î I sed hoping she would stop fass so I could go join my friends.
      ìWhyÖî She sed sniffling, her eyes coming all red.
      ìCome den, we go walk around befoí people tink wuz me who wen make you cry.î I helped her up and we moved from da grassy area to walking along da lanai. I got her paper towels from da bachroom so she could wipe her face. We walked togethers our shoulders brushing occasionally.
      My body came all stiff liídat wen witout looking at me she just locked her left pinky wit my right pinky as our arms swung together in unison. I made one strange face making quick kine side eyes, getting ready foí make da break if in case had anybody looking ah. My eyes stopped scanning and focused in on her wen I noticed dat she wuz humming one song.
      ìWot song is dat?î
      ìItís from West Side Story.î
      ìOh.î
      ìThe play. West Side Story. They made it into a movie. Itís based on Shakespeareís Romeo and Juliet. You donít know it? How can you not know it? Itís a classic.î
      ìOh. So,î I sed not knowing wot else foí say as I noticed dat we wuz all da way in da front of campus, by da office already. ìSo, uh, we go head back liídat befoí da bell ring ah, you know da kine.î
      ìWhy do you talk funny sometimes?î
      ìHah?! You saying I should be one comedian?î
      ìNot funny, humorous, but funny, strange.î
      ìOh.î
      And den there wuz silence again as we continued walking back. We nevah talk until we wuz passing da libary wen Laurie wen ax, ìSo when are you going to call to set up an appointment for your interview at Punahou?î
      ìAh, I do íem bumbyeî I sed casual kine, not really wanting to tink about it at da moment.
      ìWhen?î Laurie sed wrinkling her eyebrows together.
      ìBumbye.î
      ìWhatís that, BUMBYE?î
      ìBumbye. BumÖ bye,î I repeated slowly.
      ìLike ye-ah. Thatís not a word. Youíre making it up.î
      ìIt is too one word.î
      ìIíll bet you itís not!î
      Laurie wuz starting to piss me off. See, dat love-hate deals. Attractive, but get attitude. Since we wuz by da libary she sed we should go check da dictionary cuz das wea they had da big humangoso dictionary. Laurie wuz so confident dat she wuz right dat she even bet me dat whoever loss would have to carry da winnerís books foí a week while walking in-between classes. I nevah like dat bet cuz to me ees like either way she win cuz I nevah like people tink dat she wuz my girlfriend or noting. So I toll her if I won den she had foí buy me one extra milk foí lunch. Only ten cents, but ees not da money, but moí pride ah. Cuz I knew I wuz right.
      We walked into da libary and went to da stand wit da big American Heritage Dictionary, Unabridged Edition. Frigginí ukubillion pages insai. My word garans going be insai there I tot, tinking of how sweet dat milk wuz going taste. I flipped through da pages wit Laurie frigginí tip-toeing and staring over my shoulders so she could be da first one NOT foí see da word. Bumbye. As I flipped to da Bís my mind wandered as I totódas one word ah? Bumbye. Simple word too. Hakum Laurie dunno íem? Nah, nah, no doubt. Laurie going be da one who lose out. Bumbye gotta be one word, I heard my Grandma use íem sooo many times. ìGrandma, wen you going take me Disneyland?î ìBumbye.î So bumbye can mean later on, indefinite kine, possibly nevah. Or ìGrandma, hakum you no always flush da toilet aftah you pau shi shi?î ìCuz bumbye poho water.î So bumbye is also like consequently or as one result of. See, so das two definitions already. So hakum dis frigginí dictionary noí mo da word, I tot as I saw one smile begin to form on Laurieís lips. Maybe I stay spelling íem wrong? B-U-MÖB-Y-E. Das right ah? Maybe ees B-U-M-B-A-I? Or B-U-M-B-Y? I flipped frantically looking foí da kine alternative spellings. I kept flipping back and forth, back and forth, making sure foí double-check each one. But nevah have none of da spellings. Bumbye wuznít one word.
      I quickly looked foí da meejum size Websterís dictionary, cuz da big one had so many words dat ees possible foí miss dat one word ah. But even da kine Websterís nevah get íem. I wen check wot year da dictionaries wuz. If wuz old maybe I could get off on one technicality. Laurie wuz all jumping up and down, squealing small kine. Finally I ran to da librarianís desk and axed foí borrow her little Random House pocket-size dictionary. Even though dat one wuz smaller, had all da important, high frequency, coconut kine-garans ball barans going be on da test kine words ah, so I figured gotta have íem in dat one cuz ees pretty common ah, but still nevah get íem. I held da small dictionary open not knowing wot foí do.
      Da bell rang as Laurie turned and grabbed my arm foí lead me back to class. I cradled da dictionary snug in my right hand as she pulled my oddah arm saímore and slid her hand down to hold my hand. I let her fingertips slip through mine as she looked back once and den turned to leave toward da double doors. ìBumbyeî wuznít one coconut kine word. I stood, still looking at da dictionary in my palm, part of me wanting to memorize every single frigginí word in there, part of me wanting to frigginí throw it at Laurieís head before she left, just to hear wot kinda noise it would make. FINISHED

Lee A. Tonouchi lives in ëAiea, Hawaiëi.